To commemorate the 10th
anniversary of my Father-In-Law's passing, the children and close
friends were encouraged to write an article to be made into a book by my Mother-In Law. Though full of
thoughts, I could not bring myself to
put anything on paper after several
tries. A strand of sadness strangled
my heart, a sense of powerless and
hurt of "losing someone dear"
suffocated me, the feeling of closeness but untouchable engulfed me, the temptation and hesitation of giving it a try is too much to bear.

　I am lost in my thoughts, tears covering my face.

　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*

　In 1963, I received the National Defense Scholarship and chose to study at Columbia University. Prior to this trip, I had already received special training for Army Infantry, Paratrooper, and Airborne Ranger in the US. I wanted to learn more about the United States in the 60's and New York was the ideal place.

　I noticed Sylvia on the campus and she made me forget all the goals I had and the "movement of Keh-nan, overcoming difficulties" back home. I fell head over heels in love with her. My Mother was very excited about this good news and cheered me on. She even asked My Father to send pocket money so I could take Sylvia out on dates. I was totally lost in joy.

　My Father once wrote to me: "My dear Lawrence, I value your patronage and desire in joining the army, and am truly happy for you for finding a girlfriend. However, it is today's trend to settle down in the US after studying abroad. Has it ever occurred to you that a lady like Miss Fei, who graduated from the best institutes, would want to come back to Taiwan and live a very humble life? Would her parents want their dear daughter to be the wife of a soldier?" I was apprehensive.

　About a year later, Sylvia told me that her Father was transiting through New York on the way to Canada for business. I bowed to him upon entering the living room that afternoon, and said: "It is really nice meeting you, Mr. Fei. My name is Lawrence Ting." He wasn't prepared for this, probably thinking this boy is really a soldier, then shook my hand with a warm smile, and offered me to sit down.

　This is the first time I met my Father-In-Law.

　When I realized that my military training might not be put into good use in this changing world, I made a very agonizing decision and left my beloved army. Suddenly, I was thrown back at the starting point without the previous illustrious life, and I was to compete with colleagues who are 15 years ahead of me in the business world. It was not until 18 years later that I was back at the Military Academy, when I was chosen to be the chairman for the Academy Alumni Foundation. My heart was still filled with passion, though mixed with a little sense of loss.

　I knew my Parents-in-law watched out for me during my transition. In five years, I rose to be the Executive Vice President of China Gulf Plastic Corporation, then the 16th largest corporation, including state owned enterprises, in Taiwan. During one dinner banquet, my Father-in-law introduced me to his friend: "My son-in-law, Lawrence Ting, the EVP at China Gulf." At that moment, I knew he was assured.

　Years later, as my career reached a plateau, I felt I lost the edge of competitiveness. He sensed my uneasiness and encouraged me to carry on. His words had since then been engraved in my heart. Chairman T. T. Chao later recommended me for the Chairmanship of the National Federation of Plastic Industry, the third largest association with 1200 members. I was blessed with a smooth sailing career during my two terms as the association's chairman and was able to maintain harmony among members. Upon completion of my 2nd term, I was awarded the citation from Minister Wu of Internal Affairs. This marked a perfect ending to my career in the plastics industry.

　I do ask myself sometimes, if I would be wise enough one day as how to encourage other young people as my Father-in-law did for me.

　With the trust of Mr. Chiang Yang-Shih (Minister of Education at the time), and Mr. Henry Hsu (member of International of Olympic Committee), Mr. Chiu Chuang-huan (Head of Social Works Committee), I was asked to help out on the Olympic committee issues during my spare time. As the Vice Chairman for ROC Olympic Committee, I worked with Mr. Hsu for eight years, finding ways to maintain our membership; during this period, I was appointed the Chief De Mission for Montreal Olympics Games. Before our departure to Canada, Minister Chow Shu-kai spoke the hearts of many and urged me: "Be cautious, your going to Montreal is the same as when our country withdrew from the United Nations, these are impossible tasks which we chose to take upon ourselves. My heart is with you." After the Montreal Olympic incidence, I was received by the former President Yan Chia-kan and he acknowledged our effort: "Your efforts made the U.S. Government felt the importance to reach out when time is appropriate, thus agreed to sell us defensive military weapons after years of negotiations. The press coverage on this Olympic controversy was so powerful; our country could not have achieved this much international exposure even if we spend one hundred million dollars in commercial fee. From our country's point of view, we made a small sacrifice to gain things which are much more urgent in retrospect, only it was too hard on you. I thank you for everything." Three years later, during the termination of diplomatic relationship with the United States, I was the Chief Representative for Montevideo and Nagoya Olympic Committee Meeting. We made clear the survival rights of the 20 million population on Taiwan Island, while the world look on to the voice of 1 billion Chinese on the mainland; our efforts was well received by the international community, and a fair terminology of Chinese Taipei was decided. Later in the meeting held in Puerto Rico, we initiated the term "TPE" to resolve future problems and the difficulty in marching order. This incidence was titled "The Olympic Format". This format has helped more than 500 of our non-government organizations to find their places in the international arena, to keep our relationships with the rest of the world. Many Government Agencies used the same format later on, until it was no longer possible due to China's ever increasing pressure.

　When facing with difficulties, my Father-in-law was there for me. Under the ideology that Communist China being our eternal enemy, the most controversial issue was to initiate the concept of "China is in its current separated states". My Father-in-law suggested me to see Premier Chiang Ching-Kuo. Though this thought had been discussed over and over in private, I did not dare to trouble Premier Chiang with such a sensitive topic. My Father-in-law calmly looked straight into my eyes, kindly repeated: "Don't be afraid, Premier Chiang will think for our future generations, and he will agree to this concept." I spent full twenty minutes to make the report, Premier Chiang did not speak a word. I felt more uneasy because I knew how troubled he would feel inside. I told my Father-in-law about how the day went upon returning home, my Father-in-law told me: "He will agree to this."

　It is from this point on that we were able to start our work.

　May 28th of 1984, three months after my Father-in-law's passing, I was awarded the Golden Athletic Medal from the Minister of Education, Mr. Chu Hui-seng, before the change of cabinet. Minister Chu said: "I had to present this medal to you before leaving my post, it comes from the bottom of my heart." I felt I was accepting this medal on my father-in-law's behalf.

　I took on the CT&D's Vietnam development projects five years ago, even Sylvia has accompanied me there a few dozen times. Upon seeing that we care physically exhausted, friends asked why we push ourselves so hard? My impression of Vietnam was poverty and scarcity; homeless filled the streets, buildings covered in dark moldings. I witnessed Vietnam's improvement in the last five years; everyday is better than the day before. This reminded me of Taiwan in the last decades. Our work in Vietnam is very meaningful, not only did we create value for the Nationalist Party (KMT), but also thousands of jobs were created for the Vietnamese people. Our children went deep into the fields with Sylvia and me, to witness the rebuilding process after the war and to understand poverty and hardship. Traveling between Taipei and Vietnam on a monthly basis, Sylvia continued with home keeping, volunteering at the church, and serving as the President of Taipei YWCA. Her hectic schedule got busier.

　July this year, Vietnam officials awarded the Ho Chi Minh medal to me with Sylvia's presence; this medal is very meaningful to a Military Academy graduate. While I was receiving the medal, the encouragement from my Father-in-law during my career's low point speeded through my mind, and I finally understood his words.

　While Sylvia helped me pack last night, she asked if I want to bring a book on the flight. I thanked her and declined, for I want to write something. As I sit here in my seat, and sence of sadness surrounds me.

　I'm up in the air, Dad, can you feel that I am by your side? I'm letting out my feelings, I want the time to go back, I want to cry, I want to scream out loud, my eyes are blurring with tears…..

　Sir, I miss you so.